oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
