@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
