dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
