whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
