i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
