Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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