1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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