I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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