i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize