She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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