Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
