Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
