i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
