im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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