babies were throwing up all over the place
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
