Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
