he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
