Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
