Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
