SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
