It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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