Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
