Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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