I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
