she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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