I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
