grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
