Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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