I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
