His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
