I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
