hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
