no, he came in my armpit
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
