plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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