17 year olds will be the death of me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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