I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
