Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
