is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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