ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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