Is it because I queefed?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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