you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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