My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
