so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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