if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
