I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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