It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
