Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
