the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
