Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
