Buhtt sex?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
