There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
