and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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